Text Me
by Dream Dagger
Summary: The Wammy Boys text each other. Very inappropriate content/language. If you don't like offensive humor then I suggest that you don't read this. Thank you and enjoy ;)
1. Chapter 1: Matt the Pedo

**Mello: Hey DoorMatt. What's up?**

****Matt: Wtf Mello? DoorMatt that's the best you could come up with?

**Mello: Like you can do better.**

****Matt: Actually I can. Watch me.

**Mello: Come at me bro.**

****Matt: Bite me bitch :P

**Mello: I'm serious.**

****Matt: Woah there calm your titties XD

**Mello: I'm not a girl. Dude your an ass :(**

****Matt: Aww I so sorry Mello-Jello :)

**Mello: Fuck you. **

****Matt: I won't have a problem with that ;)

**Mello: Very mature. Don't ever talk to me you penguin rapist **

****Matt: I don't rape penguins, I rape you.

**Mello: No you don't.**

****Matt: Oh yeah that's right I forgot.

**Mello: Forgot what?**

****Matt: It's not rape if you like it.

**Mello: Leave. Me. Alone already !**

****Matt: Um.. dude like srsly who pissed in ur cheerios :P

**Mello: You type like a 12 year old girl.**

****Matt: U mean i typezz lyke Near?

**Mello: You leave Near out of this. You ass :P**

****Matt: Haha.. No MarshMello :)

**Mello: I'm gonna go. Bye :)**

****Matt: see ya later alligator ;)

**Mello: catch ya while, pedophile :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Strawberry Lube?

**Mello: Hey B.B **

****Beyond: Less than three is just a tease

**Mello: What?**

Beyond: Send those noodz and make me drool

**Mello: What the fuck?!**

****Beyond: Hit me up, make me cum, wanna sext I'll show you some

**Mello: B, are you okay?**

****Beyond: Yeah I'm totally fucktastic :3

**Mello: Okay but um... what the fuck man? **

****Beyond: Oh sorry I was listening to BOTDF ;)

**Mello: They suck balls dude.**

****Beyond: Yeah they do. My ballz ;)

**Mello: You sir have some serious mental issues.**

****Beyond: Oh and you don't? If I don't recall, you told me that I am completely sane now. Did you?

**Mello: Your such a prick.**

****Beyond: Just like Roger huh ? :D

**Mello: See that, I can agree on :)**

****Beyond: I heard you in your sleep yesterday. You said that you wanna kill him. I like the sound of that. You got any jam?

**Mello: and just what are you planning to do with that?**

****Beyond: You just wait and see Mello. :)

**Mello: What are you gonna use it as lube?**

****Beyond: ...

**Mello: Haha I knew it. Ya perv XD**


	3. Chapter 3: You Killed It Bro

Near: Hey Mello.

**Mello: Yo ho ho and a bottle rum we go. Hey bro :)**

Near: Um.. alright. So what are you doing?

**Mello: Your mom !**

****Near: We both know I am an orphan. Therefore I have no parents.

**Mello: Shut up nerd **

****Near: How am I a nerd?

**Mello: Cuz ur actin all smart n shit. & u gotz no lyfe ;)**

****Near: First of all, I did not intend to sound smart at all. That is just how I talk. And second of all, I do have a life.

**Mello: All you do is play with ur gay barbies XD**

****Near: Gay means happy. It shouldn't be used as an insult. And I do not have any Barbie dolls in my possession.

_matt: Hey hey, not need to get defensive. We all know you have Barbie's Near. And Mello, stop PMSing XD_

**Mello: Shut up you fappy bastard **

****Near: That's about the only thing me and Mello can agree on.

_Matt: You guys are assholes :( _

**Mello: The truth hurts doesn't it Matty ;)**

****_Matt: Yeah it does Mello. So will your dick soon if you don't shut the fuck up._

__**Mello: What are you gonna do, your a pussy bro **

****_Matt: I'm gonna get Beyond Birthday on you._

__**Mello: Wow. I'm so fucking scared**

****Beyond: Whats happening this time you two?

_Matt: Mello's being a penis :P_

__**Mello: Something you don't have **

****Beyond: If yo two don't stop fighting ima go all Lizzie Borden on ur asses

_Matt: Who?_

__**Mello: Wow ur dumber than I thought. U never heard the legend?**

****_Matt: Nope. _

__Near: Lizzie Borden took an axe

And gave her mother forty whacks

When she saw what she had done

She gave her father forty one.

**Mello: Thanks Near. **

****Near: Yup. No problem :)

_Matt: Ohhhhhh... I knew dat :3_

__**Mello: Yeahhh. Sure. Your too slow.**

****_Matt: That's what she said ! Lol XD_

__**Mello: Lol**

****Near: :3

Beyond: Ha to the motherfucking ha :3

**Mello: ...**

****Near: ...

_Matt: You killed it bro :P_


	4. Chapter 4: WTF

**Mello: Yo DoorMatt why do they call it high school?**

****_Matt: And how the fuck am I supposed to know?_

__**Mello: It's cuz everybody gets high XD**

****_Matt: That is the stupidest thing I ever heard man. ur gay_

__**Mello: I ain't gay.**

****_Matt: Yeah u is u fag ;)_

__**Mello: at least I don't like it up the ass XD**

****_Matt: YOLO !_

__**Mello: Thats so stupid.**

****_Matt: SWAG !_

**Mello: That means secretly we are gay. Doesn't it say somethin :)**

****_Matt: I hate you. you sir are a fucktard_

__Near: I can haz cheezburger?

**Mello: WTF ?! **


	5. Chapter 5: Virtually Slapped

**Mello: Hey bitches:)**

_Matt: My scalp itches :P_

__Near: Scotty Vanity.

Beyond: Haha that song is gay you guys :3

Near: How is a song gay?

_Matt: Same way you are Near xD_

__**Mello: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH! **

****Beyond: You guys watch too much T.V. lol

Near- Haha very amusing Matt. But I'm not the one who likes to take it up the ass.

Beyond: You guys are killing me XD

**Mello: ...**

****_Matt: You better shut the fuck up you cocky bastard _

__**Mello: Matt, calm your hormones bro. He's only playing with ya. Right Near?**

****Near: No I'm not playing. And what would you do Matt? I'm not scared of you at all.

Beyond: Why can't we be friends?

**Mello: Let's just let these morons fight. I wanna see who wins :P**

****Beyond: I say...Near!

**Mello: I say Near too.**

****_Matt: Well fuck you guys then. I thought we were friends?!_

__**Mello: We are I just think Near is better at bitching :)**

****Beyond: And fucking ;)

Near: I'm still a virgin.

Beyond: I knew that...

**Mello: Yeah right.**

****_Matt: Of course he's a virgin. He can't get no action with his baby dick :P_

Beyond: Actually Matt, his dick is bigger than yours :3

**Mello: I'm not even gonna ask...**

Near: I feel so violated right now..

_Matt: BB stop stalking people. That's just weird_

Beyond: Aren't we all weird?

**Mello: You got a point there but your missing one thing.**

****Beyond: What?

**Mello: Nothing. But look to the left**

****Beyond: Kay ! Now what?

**Mello: Look to the right**

****Beyond: Kay I did. But why?

**Mello: I just virtually slapped you :)**

****Beyond: You fappy bastard :P


	6. Chapter 6: Damn Straight

**Sorry for not updating I've been busy with school stuff and yeah...lol. I hope you enjoy this very inappropriate chapter! Lol enjoy ;D**

...

Beyond: Hey my niggahs !

_Matt: I'm not black. Neither are you fag-bag ;)_

Beyond: Aww I love you too :)

**Mello: You sarcastic bastards :P**

L: Boys, can you not swear so much?

Beyond: Haha yeah you boys!

_Matt: So...you're saying you're not a boy ?_

**Mello: So it seems :)**

Beyond: You know what? You two suck my dick

**Mello: Pop it out like lipstick**

_Matt: Razor sharp eyelashes now my fashion just thrashes _

L: In death star black...:)

Beyond: You listen to Blood on the dance floor L?

L: Yeah :3

Beyond: Awww that's so...gay

L: You listen to them too faggot ;)

Beyond: You like to piss me off don't you?

L: Only on Tuesdays ;)

Beyond: I am not a slut okay ;)

**Mello: Lies lies I can see it in your eyes :)**

Beyond: Shut up faggoty-ann ;)

L: Shane Dawson much?

Beyond: haha you know it!

**Mello: Old mcdonald had a dick suck it suck it bitch!**

_Matt: With a skeet skeet here and a skeet skeet there_

**Mello: Here a skeet there a skeet everywhere a skeet skeet XD**

L: Alright that was too far...

Beyond: I kinda liked it... ;)

L: Yeah...you would...

Beyond: Hey L guess what?

L: What?

Beyond: Wifey for Lifey ;)

L: Damn straight :D

**Mello: Yeah...we are so not straight man...**

_Matt: damn straight ;)_


	7. Chapter 7: That's What She Said!

**Guys I'm sorry about neglecting this story lol I just was writing others and I didn't forget about this one. It's funny because most of the stuff they text about is things me and my friends talk about :P Yeahh we gots issues :) I lubbs you all and I hope you enjoy this very yummy chapter ;)**

...

Beyond: Hey bitches you know what?

**Mello: What mah niqqahhh ;)**

_Matt: Nigga yhu ain't black ;)_

**Mello: Neither are you. So stfu and s my d**

_Matt: If a girl won't come round..._

Beyond: She must be a lesbian :P

L: You guys would listen to The Midnight Beast XD

Beyond: Gibbehhhhh!

L: That's not cool dude.

Beyond: Cool story bro.

L: Cock-block :P

Beyond: That made no damn sense

L: Shut up pot-head ::::::::::::::::::))))))))))))))))))

Beyond: Say that again and I'll stab you in the dick.

L: No I need that for later ;)

**Mello: I won't even bother asking...**

_Matt: Near wants to know why you have pics of him all over ur walls...whats do i say?_

Beyond: BUSTED!

**Mello: You damn dick no one asked you!**

Beyond: Well, I am what I eat ;)

L: Damn straight ;)

_Matt: You just admitted ur gayyyyyyyyyy ;D_

Beyond: Not necessarily. I can be bi for all yhu know ;)

_Matt: Tru tru :)_

L: Are you?

Beyond: Horny? Yes lol

L: No are u bi?

Beyond: What do u think?! Misa's my whore on Tuesdays and ur my whore every other day lol ;)

L: I take tht as a yes?

Beyond: Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhh!

L: That's nice...

Beyond: I'm so bored right now...wanna fuck?

L: Maybe l8ters ;)

Beyond: Yeahhhh me lubbs them bj's ;)

L: Not too hard this time tho ;)

_Matt: That's what she said muthafuckas!_

**Mello: Yes matt, we all know that's what you said last night when I fucked you too hard. :P**

_Matt: Never speak of it..._

**Mello: KK Matyy-kins :P**

_Matt: You better shut up or I'll shove my foot up ur ass._

**Mello: C'mon! Not again. That's the 5th time this week! :P**

Beyond:...

L: Damn straight ;)


	8. Chapter 8: Penis Lollipops?

**Heyyyyy! XD This is something me and a friend were discussing today...yes. Penis shaped lollipops :P**

...

Beyond: So lyke what the hell?

L: What's wrong fag-bag ;)

Beyond: First of all, im not a fag or a bag nd its just tht I was lookin 4 a new dagger for my collection nd guess wht i saw?

L: u hav a dagger collection?

Beyond: thts not the point!

L: idk. a big black...foot ;)

Beyond: ha to the fucking ha ha bitch!

L: u though i was gunna say dick huh? :)

Beyond: mayb... :3

L: can u picture a white man havin a black man's dick?

Beyond: what the actual fuck kinda question is tht?!

L: idk...im mad bored bitch

Beyond: then take another guess

L: idk. misa masturbating?

Beyond: um...i think i just threw up a lil bit bro

L: lol sorry :P but 4reelz wht is it?

Beyond: i saw a fucking penis lollipop!

L: Oh, so im a penis now?! I didn't know you felt tht way! :'(

Beyond: No! I mean lyke a sucker. u know those damn candies!

L: Oh...you should've said so :)

Beyond: I did -_-

L: ur not asian dont use tht face

Beyond: kk mom ;)

L: So did u get one?

Beyond: wht?

L: the lollipop

Beyond: i dnt need 1. i gotz u ;)

L: damn straight ;)


End file.
